The Wait is Finally Over ...

I think I spent the last few months really just being anxious everyday.  That was a huge problem. I hated it. It made me feel like I was really uptight about life... I'm usually not. I've been waiting for my boards results for the past 2 months. It was seriously killing me. I probably spent 3 times more days waiting than studying for this darn test. I gave up a lot of things just to study for boards. I let go of things that used to have so much meaning to  my life because I knew, this was serious, I never wanted to do this over again, I couldn't spare to get side tracked. I ended my relationship before I started studying and basically gave up the holidays.. BOTH Christmas and New Years, time spent with friends and family, holiday shopping, and well my entire break that I so needed after another long 11 weeks of school. I even deactivated Facebook for the first time in my life! Was it worth it? Yes. Totally. The anxiety sparked from having to wait around 2 months for it? ... worth it? Absolutely not. THAT WAS TORTURE.

It's possible.. even with my incredibly short attention span.. to pass this test after studying for 2.5 weeks.. you just have to give up everything that is near and dear to your heart, and accept that fact that staying at the 24 hour starbucks til 3AM is going to be the way of life... and stay positive around all the holiday cheers going on around you. I won't lie, that was possibly the most miserable time in my life. I really really enjoyed being alone, but I did not enjoy studying everything I was supposed to know since Day 1 of dental school....the subjects in the test were : Anatomy (whole body) / Physio/ General Path/ Biochem/ Microbio / Dental Anatomy/ Occlusion.... talk about the load of information! It was a 7.5 hour test... ( and I took almost the entire time...) ... let's not think about Part 2.... which spans 2 days... :(

While I was studying, I realized I could not take care of myself so I packed up everything and drove home. I was eating fistfuls of m & m's at one point... as my breakfast and lunch. There wasn't much that I did but studied.. and blogged. I actually have a lot of unpublished blogs about my time studying for the test. It's something I'll keep private for a rainy day reading adventure. I'm so happy to have my parents care so much about me to take me in, and feed me. My mom was her usual loving self. She brought food to my table every few hours.. chopped up the fruits into small pieces..made me coffee every morning... and left me with candy so I didn't feel so hungry at night. I want to be that mom when I grow up. I don't care how old my children are... but if they need me.. I'll step in...

"Only Drink After Passing Your Boards"

The story about the beer... I bought a 6 dollar beer... that's normal price at a bar.. but at a store... this tiny bottle? ARG! ...I thought... only for special occasions... really special. I knew if I were to celebrate, I'd be doing it alone.... so I tucked this beer way in the back of my fridge.. and studied on. My favorite beer ever is Cherish Kriek. It's a cherry beer that I normally have at La Trappe in North Beach. I love cherry flavors. I think it's wonderful... not medicinal. I feel sorry for my patients because I gravitate towards cherry prophy paste... and well.. not a lot of them are fans. Understandable. But I like the smell....nothing like some sparkly white teeth with the light smell of artificial cherries. :)

Now onto life. The biggest load has been lifted off my shoulder...I'm just bummed I let go of any spring break plans I had... time to start my vacation hunt... and possibly some retail therapy. :) sur la table and crate and barrel.. HERE I COME!!!!

Update: I actually did spend the rest of the day devoted to me.... I went out and got a haircut and shopped my little heart out. I mainly bought cooking related stuff.. aka little plates and cups.. :)